Love turned inside out
For the last few weeks I have been praying more and more to be filled with the Holy Spirit. God has given me such delightful tastes here and there of this precious presence and I hunger for it intensely. But I have had a heck of a time holding on to it. Abiding in it. I know that part of my struggle has been the fact that I struggle. That is, I am am trying to do so under my own power rather than resting in Him. The "be still" part of "be still and know that I am God" trips me up every time.
I have for a while been taking communion at the beach in the mornings simply because I love to do it and have always found such peace in it. Recently I read a book called, "The Secrets of Communion Never Taught to the Gentile Church" by Eli Pagan. Pagan's experiences really inspired me and I decided to set a list of Communion Intentions, prayers and declarations based on God's promises to meditate on during this awesome time with God. Of the 22 intentions only a handful...well, okay two...could be considered to be solely for the benefit of others.
To love others.
To be a witness to others for Christ.
The rest were all about me, my relationship with God, or my needs. Not that any were bad or unbiblical but they were most decidedly turned inward.
The first time I took communion with these intentions God fell on me with such a love and compassion for those who have fallen in disgrace in the eyes of man that I began to sob like a baby. I wanted nothing more in life at that moment than to see those lost and broken hearts redeemed and restored to the glory of God. The thought of people like Lance Armstrong or Lindsay Lohan becoming witnesses for Christ and for the mercy and love of God filled me with such longing and hope that I knew beyond a doubt that this was the Holy Spirit revealing to me the heart of God for His children. I prayed for them with an earnestness usually reserved for loved ones in dire straights. And the Holy Spirit seemed to carry my day on wings of eagles.
And still I missed the point. Happily, The Lord repeats His lessons for slow learners like me.
Each day after, I took communion hoping God would visit me upon some other intention on my list with the same magnitude of grace. Not a peep. Today I took communion again. Afterward I read a daily reading that encouraged prayer not for self but for others. For the next hour afterward I prayed unceasingly for anyone and everyone who popped into my head. Individuals and groups of people. Everyone in my family, my friends, all the other drivers on the road, people who pick up trash, emergency service people, cops, firemen, anyone who might be sick, lonely, in prison, on drugs, abused, who's car might have just broken down, who couldn't pay their bills, needed a job or just needed hope...once I got started I could hardly stop. For the Holy Spirit was resting so heavily in my heart and flowing with such abandon that anyone He suggested was immediately covered in loving prayer. My co-workers, customers, the delivery guys that come to our office, the people who make our clothing...so many of them were covered so deeply and passionately in loving prayer I half wondered if they weren't all pausing at that moment to try and figure out if something wonderful had just happened.
And me? I was soaring! I did not care one bit for any of the material things on my intentions list. And I was not even fretting about falling short on the spiritual things. My whole day was like butter. Throughout the day I would stop and pray for anyone I happened to think of. All the while things that normally would have stressed me out just seemed to be all shiny and sparkly and hardly a nuisance at all.
Somewhere along the line a light bulb went on. Andrew Murray wrote in The Deeper Christian Life. "It is the nature and glory of God to be always giving." That resonated when I first read it last month, and today it echoed. God is always giving Himself. And since God is love, it follows that God is Love turned outward giving Himself endlessly and unreservedly. There is simply no way to welcome the Holy Spirit without turning Him outward onto others. I have been putting so much of my focus on having "me time" with God that I forgot the second great commandment of Christ, to love others as you love yourself. Sure I want to have the Holy Spirit abiding in ME, but I hardly thought about whether He was reaching anyone else.
God's Abiding is not a stagnant stationary act where He comes and hangs out indoors with you with doors and windows shut. It is a living, flowing through abiding. God is the outdoorsy type. He's always with you but He's also always on the move...like the river which keeps moving through the landscape. From a distance it is abiding as part of the scenery, but close up its water are flowing, rapids are racing, it is nourishing the land, watering the animals and cooling the thirst of the weary.
God is love turned outward. To abide in His Spirit I must turn Him loose. And all that other stuff will come when it comes. And what does not come, I care nothing for, for if I have Him what more is there really?
Another wise man, my husband, once told me, "you know, more and more I think the whole point is just to love people." I admit I brushed it off at the time thinking to myself, "we'll, yeah but there's more to it than that!" But now I see that maybe he's right. That is God's whole point. To love us endlessly. And when we love Him, we adopt His whole point as our own. To love each other with a true godly love. Love that is patient and kind, tender, forgiving, tolerant, unselfish and sacrificial. Love that is turned outward and unending.
Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love...
I have for a while been taking communion at the beach in the mornings simply because I love to do it and have always found such peace in it. Recently I read a book called, "The Secrets of Communion Never Taught to the Gentile Church" by Eli Pagan. Pagan's experiences really inspired me and I decided to set a list of Communion Intentions, prayers and declarations based on God's promises to meditate on during this awesome time with God. Of the 22 intentions only a handful...well, okay two...could be considered to be solely for the benefit of others.
To love others.
To be a witness to others for Christ.
The rest were all about me, my relationship with God, or my needs. Not that any were bad or unbiblical but they were most decidedly turned inward.
The first time I took communion with these intentions God fell on me with such a love and compassion for those who have fallen in disgrace in the eyes of man that I began to sob like a baby. I wanted nothing more in life at that moment than to see those lost and broken hearts redeemed and restored to the glory of God. The thought of people like Lance Armstrong or Lindsay Lohan becoming witnesses for Christ and for the mercy and love of God filled me with such longing and hope that I knew beyond a doubt that this was the Holy Spirit revealing to me the heart of God for His children. I prayed for them with an earnestness usually reserved for loved ones in dire straights. And the Holy Spirit seemed to carry my day on wings of eagles.
And still I missed the point. Happily, The Lord repeats His lessons for slow learners like me.
Each day after, I took communion hoping God would visit me upon some other intention on my list with the same magnitude of grace. Not a peep. Today I took communion again. Afterward I read a daily reading that encouraged prayer not for self but for others. For the next hour afterward I prayed unceasingly for anyone and everyone who popped into my head. Individuals and groups of people. Everyone in my family, my friends, all the other drivers on the road, people who pick up trash, emergency service people, cops, firemen, anyone who might be sick, lonely, in prison, on drugs, abused, who's car might have just broken down, who couldn't pay their bills, needed a job or just needed hope...once I got started I could hardly stop. For the Holy Spirit was resting so heavily in my heart and flowing with such abandon that anyone He suggested was immediately covered in loving prayer. My co-workers, customers, the delivery guys that come to our office, the people who make our clothing...so many of them were covered so deeply and passionately in loving prayer I half wondered if they weren't all pausing at that moment to try and figure out if something wonderful had just happened.
And me? I was soaring! I did not care one bit for any of the material things on my intentions list. And I was not even fretting about falling short on the spiritual things. My whole day was like butter. Throughout the day I would stop and pray for anyone I happened to think of. All the while things that normally would have stressed me out just seemed to be all shiny and sparkly and hardly a nuisance at all.
Somewhere along the line a light bulb went on. Andrew Murray wrote in The Deeper Christian Life. "It is the nature and glory of God to be always giving." That resonated when I first read it last month, and today it echoed. God is always giving Himself. And since God is love, it follows that God is Love turned outward giving Himself endlessly and unreservedly. There is simply no way to welcome the Holy Spirit without turning Him outward onto others. I have been putting so much of my focus on having "me time" with God that I forgot the second great commandment of Christ, to love others as you love yourself. Sure I want to have the Holy Spirit abiding in ME, but I hardly thought about whether He was reaching anyone else.
God's Abiding is not a stagnant stationary act where He comes and hangs out indoors with you with doors and windows shut. It is a living, flowing through abiding. God is the outdoorsy type. He's always with you but He's also always on the move...like the river which keeps moving through the landscape. From a distance it is abiding as part of the scenery, but close up its water are flowing, rapids are racing, it is nourishing the land, watering the animals and cooling the thirst of the weary.
God is love turned outward. To abide in His Spirit I must turn Him loose. And all that other stuff will come when it comes. And what does not come, I care nothing for, for if I have Him what more is there really?
Another wise man, my husband, once told me, "you know, more and more I think the whole point is just to love people." I admit I brushed it off at the time thinking to myself, "we'll, yeah but there's more to it than that!" But now I see that maybe he's right. That is God's whole point. To love us endlessly. And when we love Him, we adopt His whole point as our own. To love each other with a true godly love. Love that is patient and kind, tender, forgiving, tolerant, unselfish and sacrificial. Love that is turned outward and unending.
Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love...
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