Playing God

Yesterday as I was writing in my beach journal a funny thing happened. I looked up and spotted a furry brown caterpillar racing past me on the sands of the step where I sit. I had never seen a caterpillar run that fast. It was quite comical. He was scurrying like his little life depended on it as fast as all those tiny legs could carry him. I suppose the heat of the sun was driving him to seek out the shade of the embankment behind the step. 

Now caterpillars at the beach have come to be a symbol of God's promises of great things to come in my life, and of the transformation He is working in me. So every time I see one I feel like God is winking at me, whispering, "keep believing! Good things are coming." I tend to feel a little protective of caterpillars because they are my fuzzy little messengers of hope. So as I watched my speedy friend reach the base of the embankment and begin the daunting task of scaling it I cheered him on.

Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted the large gecko who I know lives in a tiny cave in the embankment wall. He had just darted out into the sunlight and was scanning the sands for his breakfast. He snatched up an unsuspecting sand fly and then started looking around for a second course. 

I instinctively began to fear for my little caterpillar friend. He would make a feast for hungry gecko. I had a brief but horrifying vision of that gecko sitting back in his cave in a tiny recliner watching Geico commercials on a miniature big screen and patting his bulging belly as he burped caterpillar fuzz. I wanted to scoop up my caterpillar, lift him to the top of the embankment and place him in the thick grasses where he would be hidden from reptilian eyes.  I wanted to play God. But something told me not to.

As the caterpillar began his vertical ascent, slipping and sliding but never once giving up, I cheered him on. "You can do it, little guy! Keep going!" But sure enough the gecko was coming nearer. Suddenly the lizard darted forward and stopped right in front of where the  caterpillar was climbing just inches away. I gasped and prepared to shoo him if I had to to protect my intrepid climber. 

But the gecko was frozen. He wasn't even looking in the caterpillar's direction.  He was staring in quivering horror at something so fearsome and terrifying that all thoughts of breakfast were now replaced with the overwhelming desire to escape certain destruction. The deadly thing he was looking at was ME! 

Preoccupied with food he had run up so close to me that I could have grabbed him by the nose hairs.  He knew it. I knew it. Our eyes met. His grew wide and then a second later he bolted; racing past my beach mat to the safety of some blocks of broken concrete on the other side of the embankment. If he could have fled from me in seven different directions I think he would have, he was that scared.

Without knowing it I had played God after all. But not by helping the caterpillar or swatting his potential enemy. I had done so by cheering him on and by standing by his side; but mostly by being the thing that was far greater than the challenges he faced or the enemies that threatened him. With me on his side what gecko could stand against that future butterfly?

When I looked again at the caterpillar he was already nearing the very top of the embankment. Moments later he had disappeared into the thick tangle of green and brown grass. I rejoiced for him. He had never even noticed the gecko. 

So it is with God. He does not cool the heat of the sun but He provides shade. He does not remove every obstacle, but He gives us the strength to climb over them and encourages us to go on when we slip. He does not crush our enemies, but He is so mighty and fearsome that He can cause them to not even see us. He shields us from them and when they do come against us, He sends them fleeing in seven different directions. 

No He does not make things easy for us. But He makes all things possible. I may have been a god to the gecko, but I know that I am really a caterpillar. Worry may beat down on me like the burning sun, but He gives me sweet cool waters of life in His word. Obstacles and challenges rise up in my path, but His Joy is my strength. And enemies?! Well, I should hardly pay them any mind at all. If God is for me, who can stand against me? 

I need only pursue that task which He calls me to and then...let God, be God.